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Emptying out the deep-end, by ajdowd
Kalamazoo, MI US

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Emptying out the deep-end

SOFT NATURE:
In the softest nature I can think to portray
She smiles back through the window to my soul
In this beautiful concrete and asphalt surrounding
I have been lifted this day
For a heart to flutter and cold ensuing shudder
I have been defeated and invited to play
Hair dancing in the warming sun and breeze
Soft as weightlessness I forget my disease
May my next words not be mumbled and
Approach her ears in loving spirit
May she welcome my advances and never fear it
Delicate is her touch to my icy frosted demeanor
Waiting for a change, may it be her
Who teaches me how to treat her

SENSE OF RELEASE:
And in this new dawning
A fleeting sense of that old longing
A feeling so displeasing
Isn't it great to have that dissapear
Though I begin feeling concave
Something new comes clear
Not that old fear
Not that old fear
Not hating the mirror
Perhaps I can see you as you see me
Release myself from the chains at my feet

SAYING GOODBYE IN SILENCE:
I could have sworn I hear thunder
Let this storm pass by me as I walk under
It's rotten up above and screams this isn't love
But I lied to myself and the push become the shove
Now I'm digging a whole and I'm all out of tools
Through my hands through the earth, we were just young fools
Fighting for air, our eyes blocked by wet hair
I feel like we're drowning when we're caught in a stare
There's nothing here that makes my grief go away
I'll hitch-hike across the states, far away, catch a bus, or train
I don't know how to say goodbye, so please smile while I lie
I'm questioning our future, and pulling apart the sutures
Dying inside, lying awake when we say goodnight
This isn't true love, sure it hurts, but more like a knife
And so I must leave, push my hands into my sleeves
I've forgotten my mittens and they'll never be retrieved
This is sad, yes it's true, but please my darlin' don't feel blue
Someone better will come along, someone who makes it easy to be you
This is my saying sorry while you sleep
This is me saying goodbye in silence before I flee

FANTASTICLE: (non rhyming)
Pots of gold and rainbows
All have stunning qualities
Though they are all only hearsay
I've never seen anything quite like them
I'm more a fan of scars
That lay scattered about my empty chest
Why can't you let me in
I'm growing older and wiser all the time
But a stupid boy in my own right
You've got a grasp like a lullaby
Put us to sleep you pull the life out of God
And He wants us to love all
But I'm turning my back away
I'm ready to head off on my own
I'll find my own fairytale far away
My own pots of gold

STINGING SWEETLY:
Stinging sweetly as the frost of a morning chill
Bloodshot and colsweat enjoying the cheapest thrill
Should have found a way back home
Shifting hands and now theres money owed
Freshly freeing like the arrow from a bow
Headstrong and destined to destroy the life below
Can't now change the course of events
You can't understand what is was that I meant

MORNING, SO FAR, SO OFF:
Won't reach the morning
Im never calling this place my home
Tell me Rebecca why oh why
Did you crash your car into me
I'm just trying to make my way
But you make me want to stand still
And I can't be angry
Fearing that youll be my better half
I'll be the gas if you'll be the spark
And we'll burn this whole night to the ground

DISTANCES SPANNED AND WINTER SNOWS:
Hallowing out my bones, searching deep inside my self
A certain sense of longing, changes my focus to the shelf
A place where I can hide my soul away from wanting eyes
The eyes that search for a boy like me, they tell no lies
She says she'll wait, she says she wants
As she wanders through my heart, like a ghost mid-haunt
Why I hide away I may never know
Though this distance is spanned a love does grow
So far away, so close to my soul
Stays far away and shares my heavy load
Forgive my failure for I did not know
That my picture stood upon your shelf
Through all these winter snows

ENTER AT EXITS:
Jackets made of sharp teeth
And chewing old saw blades
Rust on the Atlantic reef
And Heaven starts to fade

We've had it up, up, up to hear
Switchin to third gear
We've had enough, nough, nough
Of livin in sick fear

Where light is made of shadows
And mammals dont exist
Columns turn into rows
Now enter at exits

We've had it up, up, up to hear
Switchin' to third gear
We've had enough, enough, enough
Of livin in sick fear

Heads full of barbed wire
And circles stand up straight
Giving money to the buyer
With fans of Watergate

The people rule the kingdom
Now the king is so upset
The rulers are all so dumb
Now they're worse than the rest

We've had it up, up, up to hear
Switching to third gear
We've had enough, enough, enough
Of livin in sick fear

I LOATHE YOU, MY DEAR:
Happiness died inside a veil
Tears stream across from a smile
With this ring I thee wed
Within this vow I am shot
Tears stream, feel thick like blood
Down the aisle and into Hell.

UNTITLED 1:
Funny the way the door swings shut
As words still echo in a darkening room
My head filled up and heart clotting
I cannot move my legs to chase you
Treading water feels like holding coals

GHAZAL:
The longer I wait the less I believe in fate
I feel im losing myself, this cannot be my fate
Do I trust myself enough to earn a worthy mate
That over there, with skin so fair, maybe shes my fate
Can I retrieve the feeling I feel I've lost on this specific date?
Tomorrow a new date, a day to be late, this must be my real fate
They after strange feeling settling in, only just a moment or two too late
Yesterday, I should have changed the things inside, so as to create my own fate
So what is left? Besides of course, a life lived closely parallel to one at second rate
Today, today, oh yes today, I will learn to create, a fate, no more worries of oh Heavens' sake
\
PANTOUM:
None of these words have been written yet
Procrastination my friend, my biggest regret
It follows me wherever I go, if I ever go
Through the woods and down the rabbit's hole
Procrastination my friend, my biggest regret
This has taken long enough, why wait for the end goal
Through the woods and down the rabbits hole
But perhaps I'll sit and wait for a friendly invitation
This has taken long enough, why wait for the end goal
There is no head on my shoulders, for my mind is on vacation
But perhaps I'll sit and wait for a friendly invitation
Why wait, I want all day and night and never get it right
There is no head on my shoulders for my mind is on vacation
My greatest fear is that I'll finish, talk about procrastination
Why wait, I want all day and night, and never get it right
Sink or swim, free fall from the air like a broken kite

A,B,C, DARIUS
After all the chaos time seems nill
Bending and twisting like winds in winter
Chilling my bones burning my skin
Deeply thinking where to begin
End. The end is the greatest start
Fast as a sun flash before my eyes
Great commitment attaches my ties
Haven't you felt like this before
Indigestion from the butterflies
Jaundice like sickness from folklore
Kill the pain and send myself away
Let yourself be loved if you feel you can
My heart will catch you, and keep you in your silence
No reason to pull away now
Oh, how I long for I feel is best
Politely you ask a simple question: How?
Quietly regress but not like all the rest
Remind me sometimes that I can be a pest
Step on my back and squash me through the dirt
Tearing me a apart like a man so concerned
Underlying pain can I get back on my feet
Varying between my feelings a life that's less obscene
Wearing on my consciousness you see straight to my soul
X-ray eyes make me appear to be a hole
You changed the course of my existence, see
Zzz, zzz, now I lay me down to sleep

ENVY LIKE GRASSY FIELDS:
Green is the grass
Like the envy I have
For the smile he creates
On such a beautiful face
She dances like rainfall
All the whie I stare and stall

My compass spins like a clock
Consistent but stubborn
True to her morals
Never does she join the mock
Laughing at a boy like me
My awkward approach
Towards a voice that sets me free

HEADLIGHTS FROM A DEER'S PERSPECTIVE:
Youre the fawn astray from the forst
I'm the fire here to forge us
The headlights to your gaze
The impending discomfort while you graze

I'm the needle hiding in the hay
Waiting for you to become my prey
Im the reason you stand quiet in the road
Waiting for a burn to kill the cold
I'm the stitches across your lips
And the grumbling sound, the compiled hiss
The mute to your music
The gun, and the reason you use it

BLUE-EYED PORCELEAN STATUETS:
All the porcelain dolls
Bein' sold at the malls
They can't feed us, no

All the blue-eyed girls
With their hair in curls
They can't reach us, no

Everybody's thinking
That we're sinking down
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, oh yeah

All these statutes
Guilty full of regret
Oh no, no, no, no , no

Sure the strawberry's red
(That's) what the farmer said
Oh no, no, no, no , no

Game of cat and mouse
Pushin' our way through the crowds
To see the gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold, gold,

POVERTY AND BOREDOM:
Grabbin' at my own hands
I'm all out of thread
Taking back some beer cans
Seeking around for a friend
I got a head full of bullets
And a nicotine problem
I'm playing Russian roullette
For a way out of boredom
You know ol Washington liked to smoke and drink
I could be loved if I just gave a hoot

GREETINGS FROM THE SUNKEN HULL OF THE SHIP:
As the ship went down
We saw the lights from the town
Only fifty miles or so away

So we held our drinks
(and) never mind the leaks
Because I'm o.k. with going out today

Guess we'll sink or swim
Some were singin hymns
And this may be the last thing I say

I was coming back to surprise you love
But this craft is a wingless dove
So full of promises kept
Just one last thing to say accept&

So we're havin' a good time
But were dancing on fault lines
Could it ever be more perfect than you and I?

I guess so&

I was coming back to surprise you love
But this craft is a wingless dove
So full of promises kept
Just one last thing to say accept&

FOUR LINE 1:
Opened the doors
That morning at four
Fast foot in front
And searching for more

FOUR LINE 2:
Maybe made of magic
And summer debris
Talented enough to
Make dreams we can see

FOUR LINE 3 (Minus One):
Heads in a good place
At the wrong time
Of the wrong night

INSPECTOR MISCHEVIOUS:
Who could it have been
Crawlin' through your purse
On a couch that I
Never really owned
Finding funny things
Some frames filled by a noose
And I didn't even know your name
It was a shard too
Meant only for my veins

INFATUATION:
Weakened by those
We seek to impress
Impressed by those
Who seek out
Our weaknesses

UNTITLED&75
Inside a perfect work of science
Working in compliance with a mind of defiance
Ironic seems it shouldn't be violent
But if I compile it, I'll mind it, I'll find it
A quiet art of reliance that breaks from the silence
While riots grow quiet and shrink like on diet
This shatter reliance of science makes this mind grow defiant
Dare I try it?
This sacred science kills giants unless one's compliant
Then you may find it that you are a client
Of show stopping reliance that science brings violence
From all great discoveries grow grand streaming catastrophes
From atoms to God, from cattle to cod
Many have died defiant and not
Even the brave are subject to
This perfect work of science that runs through me and you

Description: This is an eclectic and random list of poems I have come up with over the last few weeks turning into months to years and more to come. Please give me honest feedback of whether or not you like it, this is my first time using MUTT online and would like to know how you like them. Thank you.

Photo Posted: Jan 27,2013 Photo Viewed: 449

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